yoga butts

hello class. my name is mr. stevens. i will be your substitute while mrs. lopinski is getting her foot fixed.

yoga butts, you can call me mr. s. i have a note from the principle: no jeggings! what?!

come on, they're jeans. no, they're leggings. they are just disguised to look like jeans. yes stacey .. we can see your whole ass crack. whatever! what about my tacket? hey, is that a tank top jacket? yeah. no, it's very slutty and it can't be worn. i bet you hate these ?!, too. don't you?

yes, those are definitely banned. now, those pants you're wearing, what are those? stockees?! stocking khakis. yeah, got ya, they are not allowed. what about aaron, he is wearing a hat? this is a yarmulke.. what about my yarmu-bra ? wow, yeah .. no, you are 16 and that is definitely sacriligeous

... can wear my nurt ? your what ? my not-a-shirt? ok that's just not wearing a shirt. mixed with a shirt. ok, you're gonna be suspended. swearings? sweater-earrings. those are absolutely fine. but they look terrible.

clongs? they're .. thongs.. got ya, just keep 'em underneath your pants. you old fogey.. fogey. wow, haven't heard that word a long time i'm thirty, though. thanks ok, you in the back, what are you wearing? is that a shirt with the boobs cut out? it's a w-neck take that off!

fine, but underneath i am wearing a nurt. you fuc*** fogey ok, i think you guys think that word is worse than it actually is. can i wear this condom? not instead of pants! what ?! now, do i have your attention?? here is how we gonna do things: no backless hoodies, no... cardigans, toeless boots,

pelvis-high skirts, tube tops, tops made out of tubing what the fu** no fishnet body suits no head outfits and no jeggins! now are we clear ? perfect, now open up your textbooks to page 17. no, no, no. i can wear a nurt, i am an adult, i have earned this right.